"How does it work in Pakistan eh?"

I was standing in line at the counter of a book-cum-computer-cum-office supplies store, actually I wasn't in the line, more like on the side because I had just bought a new laptop, and the store was closing, so they were getting rid of customers who had small items first. Anyways, this man kinda cuts in front of me as if I don't exist and says in an irritated and loud voice "you accept cards YES?" He had blondish hair, with a beard and mustache thing going, a pinkish complexion and wore a pair of glasses. He was obviously not in the best of moods, taking of the plastic wrapping off the software he had just purchased, I think for his wife who was standing behind him. As he waited impatiently for the customer ahead of him, I looked at my cousin and made the comment "looks like the machine is working a little slow today" referring to the credit card reading machine thingymajig. He turns around - now this man was a good 5 inches taller than me and definitely twice as wide; plus, not in a good mood - looks at me, gives me one of those forced fake grins and I knew straight away he did not like what I said. However, his following question caught me by surprise: "How does it work in Pakistan eh?" actually, now that I think about it, it also surprised me that he was able to say Pakistan instead of Bakistan due to the lack of the alphabet "P" in the Arabic language, anyways, the conversation went like this:

Irritated man: "How does it work in Pakistan eh?"

Surprised me: "Well, it depends, we have our good..."

Irritated man in patronizing tone: "In Pakistan you don't need these things eh? You can just give anyone money and khallas it's done eh?"

Surprised and a little frightened me: "Sir, I wasn't..."

Irritated patronizing man in a are-you-trying-to-say-Pakistan-is-better?-well-you're-f***in-wrong-coz-Pakistan-is-a-shithole tone: "No no, is that not how it works over there? You can just bribe anyone and they do anything for you, who cares if the machine doesn't work eh?"

My raised-in-Saudi cousin: "Yeah, in Pakistan it's all good, they don't care, just take it and go"

Irritated man now smiling and happy: "Right?"

Irritated man turns around, his turn comes, hands over the crumpled up plastic wrapping to the attendant at the counter, makes his payment, thanks the attendant for his cooperation in a sarcastic tone and leaves.

That little exchange rattled me because I had never faced racism so blatantly! Back in school I felt underlying racist attitudes from most of the Arabs towards the subcontinental folk, but it was okay because the worst it resulted in was not hanging out with the supposed 'popular' kids in school who would pre-dominantly converse in Arabic amongst themselves with totaly disregard for any non-Arabic speaker, or lack of invites to parties where once again one would feel left out if he was not Arab and/or did not share the same shift in culture trend and/or was not of Western origin. However, this incident got to me!

I have seen numerous Saudis addressing the hard-working labor class Bengalis, Indians, Pakistanis by their nationalities: Ya bengali! Ya hindi! Ya Bakistani! in the most irritating "I'm superior to you, serve me!" tone. I just flew in to Saudi Arabia a few days ago on board Saudia Airlines; the attitude of the flight attendants was appalling! The flight was filled with Pakistanis and the Arab flight attendants seemed so reluctant to attend to anyone! In a way it was not surprising; and personally I know how hard it can be to deal with the common Pakistani on flights, but I am pretty sure the job description does not mention 'may act according to racial biases'. Some family friends flew in yesterday from Lucknow, India, on board a Saudia Airlines flight and they had the same complaint. Furthermore, I was at a dinner last night and some top management folk from a large organization here in the KSA were complaining about how the Arabs favor and look up to Westerners in the company despite how incompetent some of them may be while the hard work of the Subcontinental employees is taken for granted.

At first it reminded me how racist a region this is; especially in the KSA. In school, Jew was used as an insult - "you're such a Jew" or "stop being so Jewish"! Arabs get a huge kick out of imitating the Indian accent and shaking their heads while at it. The Arab girls loved the white boys (sorry, I just cannot keep using the term Western!) after their own type. I don't even know what to blame for this attitude - it could be the fact that the majority of Subcontinental people in the Middle East are found in what is known as the 'labor class' so stereotyping takes place, the fact that there is blatant pay discrimination at the workplace; hence, the Arab expatriates are earning a lot more, living more lavishly as compared to their Subcontinental counterparts, or maybe the fact that we do, as a people, do not mix with the other races as much so we are misunderstood.

The talk at the dinner moved onto, somehow, this product called Fair & Lovely (a beauty cream) and the implications of the name itself - something I had thought about many a time and reminded me of the stark reality of the racism problem.

Arabs are not the only racists around - us Indians and Pakistanis are bloody racist! The immense success of the Fair & Lovely brand in our region personifies our racist attitude! Fair skin is good, dark skin not so good!

The following phrases are so common:

"Yeh kitna kaala hai" - He's so black/dark

"Woh kitni kaali hai" - She's so black/dark

"Hai Allah bechaara, itna kaala hai" - Poor soul, he's so black/dark

The worst I heard was my friend's sister, who saw this scene from the Indian movie called Fashion in which the lead role, a model, ends up sleeping with an African man she dances with randomly at a club because she's lost control of her life and gets drunk and that's what she ends up doing. The lead wakes up, realizes what she's done and breaks down into tears. My friend's sister:

"Is she upset because she slept with him or because he's so black?"

!

Exactly.

I once told my friend that originally we're all African, due to the whole all land being one once upon a time - the Pangeas etc. and he just did not want to believe it because he did not want to be associated with Africans!

I do not even want to get started on how we love categorizing all East Asians as chiny-chong or chinky-japani and love referring to their facial features, or how Christians are referred to as karantay (which I have no idea as to why or what the term means). Pakistanis living abroad pride themselves to having better accents than Indians - ignoring the fact that the Indians are probably more well-spoken than they are. North Indians get a kick out of South Indians - categorized as mallus.

On a positive note, neither Arabs nor Asians have carried out racist attacks in their countries as compared to the attacks that take place in the much revered civilized Western world. Nonetheless, it's just frustrating that racial factors affect the way people have to live in these regions - dark-skinned women find it difficult to get married off in countries such as Pakistan and India, organizations in the Middle East will pay the Westerner or Lebanese a lot more as compared to the Pakistani or Indian despite the latter two having equal or more capabilities, living as an expatriate Pakistani or Indian you have to make sure you do not upset Saudis because the law enforcers will favor them eventually.

I'm not saying all Arabs are racists, nor are all Pakistanis or Indians. The attitude is prevalent though. I must have been 10 years old and made fun of an Arab while talking to my dad and he had a go at me for being so intolerant. A lesson I've never forgotten.

The arrogance that some carry pisses me off! People need to realize that their race is in no way better than any other. To discriminate will never help any cause. We are all human at the end of the day, working together is the only way. Racist attitudes not only instill fear in the 'victims' but also demoralises them - very counterproductive!

I don't know how the KSA will address the issue - one which they believe does not exist, but if I were to address the issue in Pakistan via advertising, I would start by taking a dig at Fair & Lovely and what it stands for!

I am going to end this with an ad by Nike that was particularly for eliminating racism from football, but I believe the message can be applied to a broader forum.

"Just go on my blog, you'll find it all there!"

The heading above is what not to say in an interview.

So it's been 12 hours since my last post. I went to my uni in the morning to find out if I'm eligible for the MBA program, turns out that they had extended the deadline so I'm eligible! The sinking feeling set in again. One of the employees at the placement office suggested I just fill the registration form then and there, I resisted and just brought the form home with me. I am just unwilling to accept my fate at the moment. From there I was on my way to Mindshare for my job interview; revising my media planning notes on the way.

Nervous? Not really. I was nervous for my interview at The Resource Group (TRG) a month ago. Not for this though, probably because it was of my field of interest. I reach there a good 15 minutes early. I met a senior of mine from a couple of years ago, he was leaving the office for a smoke. 5 minutes later a young lady by the name of Sana received me and took me to the interview room I suppose. Two of her colleagues - Sahar, I think, and Tariq, joined her.

I was first asked about my background and, more importantly, my future academic plans. I elaborated on my options for my Master's and told them I was inclined to working and that I would be there for a minimum of two years. Sana pointed out that could work against me, I simply said that the way I see it is that after my Master's I could easily rejoin them. We moved onto my internships, they had a special interest in what I did at Brandcom Middle East. Next set of questions were related to a couple of projects I did in uni:

"You did a project on Clean&Clear, what was that about?"
"The project was simply video interviewing a brand manager about a certain marketing topic relating it to their brand, we went a step further and interviewed consumers to match what the brand manager claimed about the brand's positioning and personality with its perception amongst consumers"
"What is the position of Clean&Clear?"
"Well it's a brand for young females, it's a fun brand, a girl's friend"
"What about Pond's?" (it turned out that Sana dealt with Pond's as a Senior Planner)
"Well Pond's is seen to be for young ladies, it has a graceful touch to it..."
"Have you seen the latest campaign?"
"The Hadiqa one?"
"No that's anti-ageing, the Mehreen and Anoushay testimonials..."
"I can't quite recall"

What I liked so far about this interview was the fact that it was discussion-like, that they showed an interest in what I had to say. This is how my 5 minute TRG interview ended:

"Would you be interested in a position other than Management Trainee?"
"What sort of position?"
"HR, or maybe administrative"
"Well, it would depend on the job description"
"Well, what do you want?"
"I don't quite know what departments you have here, because from what I've understood about your company is that you convince companies in the States to outsource their processes to Pakistan..." Here I looked for some sort of correction, or guidance from the interviewers as to what the hell their company does - instead, they just looked at me blankly as I made pathetic attempts at making sense, they didn't seem to care one bit!

Back to Mindshare. I was then asked about campaigns I have recently liked, and I mentioned how I did not like the Touch Condoms campaign and that led into a good discussion. They threw some questions at me to test my marketing mind I guess - what would I do differently, why, what would I do if I HAD to use this TVC only. Just as we had started this discussion, I mentioned that I went on the Greenstar website for the purposes of my blog. After answering and explaining what I would do differently, this is what happened:

"Have you seen the Indian campaign?"
I smile, "just go on my blog, you'll find it all there!" feeling like such a smart-ass when saying that.
"As interviewers, we expect you to answer our questions, not send us here or there to check this and that..." Reality check! How did I get to this? Perhaps I was enjoying the interview a little too much that I got carried away, nonetheless I tried to clean up the little mess I created...
"You're right, my bad, yes I've seen the bindaas bol campaign and the i-pill campaign, thought they were brilliant. In fact I first saw the bindaas bol campaign a couple of years..."

The interview ended on why I wanted to get into media planning. I asked what kind of work I would get and it sounded good I must say.

Apparently there'll be a second interview and I'll know in a couple of days if I'm selected for that. God I want to work so bad! I don't want to do a bloody work-project and return to IBA! It would be so difficult to make a phone call and tell them "I'm sorry, but I'm opting to do my MBA so if you could consider me for a work-project instead..."

Depressing.

12 hours for 2 years?

Here I am, just graduated a month ago with a Bachelor's in Business Administration from the premier business school in Pakistan - a country not hit too hard by the global recession. I graduated thinking my plan i set: that I will not return to this institution for my Master's no matter what - I cannot take the academic system, the administrative system, I'm a bit of a misfit, I don't want to go back to studying again just yet; bottom line being that I will find a job, work for a couple of years, and go to the west to do my MBA. Simple.

Here I am, one month after graduating, still not sure if I passed the Goddamn entreprenurship course - 10 marks reserved for the course project are yet to be decided and I need 7 just to borderline pass! I cannot even vouch on the humanity of this professor because of the ease at which he failed a classmate on absences. There has not been a single year when I have not had to worry about anything related to the institute and it still has not let my mind be at peace! I groveled for an increase in my grade for a certain course, to a man I do not respect because of his blatant biases and his denial at his inability to effectively teach a course that was important to me. Though, I must admit, some of what he taught just might land me a job now! The institute's inability to market its students or its degree programs has left me in a position in which I really do not want to be in right now - more on this in a bit.

I've given one interview for a business process outsourcing company, it was an initial screening interview and I guess my CGPA wasn't high enough for them. Some large MNCs only take MBAs, the other MNCs' tests I did not pass, the large local organizations also seek MBAs. Advertising agencies are not hiring right now, why would they? Business has slowed down. Where does that leave me? In a bowl of frustration.

You may wonder how I can compare my degree to a Master's. In this country, at this moment, I can. Actually, MBAs who did their Bachelor's in engineering, or did a MBBS, I cannot compare myself to because they are far superior in knowledge and worth. MBAs with a similar business Bachelor's degree, I believe I am just as good at this moment.

At my institute, for the past 2-3 years, the MBA program has courses similar to that of the BBA program but with more fancy names - everything becomes "advanced" or "managerial"; yes I'll admit that the math involved in economics is more advanced and there's another calculus related course - a course that is pointless as softwares are used to solve the same problems. Nor do I see myself applying calculus later on. Then come the electives - the undergraduate and postgraduate students sit together in the same class! So have the MBAs really learnt more? Moreover, Managerial Policy is meant to be that ultimate course that combines everything you've learnt and you just do case study after case study - it's offered in both programs! I pitied the MBAs who had done their Bachelor's from the same institute! So, we've got a group of graduates who I believe are on the same level, and yet preference is given to the postgraduates. Oh by the way, up till now, the admission requirment for the postgrad program did not require any sort of significant work experience, so we're on the same level.

If anyone from our competitors from Lahore are reading this and are comparing then this is what I have to say: As far as your MBA goes, I cannot say anything; though I've heard you guys use a case-study method, I've also heard you guys don't know the basics. The fact that your undergraduates compete for marketing related jobs with our undergraduates is unbelievable because you have not done any relevant courses for the Goddamn job!

I cannot point fingers at organizations because they know what to expect from an MBA so they play it safe, or set a standard. I point my finger at my institution. I mean what the f***?! Seriously! Could you not promote what the majority of your student body is studying? Could you not promote the fact that our degree is bloody comprehensive as well! Yes it is frustrating that organizations could not care less what the BBA degree has become - how it has evolved from a 2 year degree to a 4 year degree.

Here I am, wanting to go out and work for a good organization, earn money, save up, and finance my postgraduate studies abroad. What are my job options? Well this is how it has been:

• I applied for a Sales job at a major MNC after getting a tip that they're hiring, I didn't bother following up for 3 weeks, and now they've stopped hiring for at least a week.
• My friend calls me up around 12 hours ago asking if I got a call from Lakson - a group that Phillip Morris has huge stakes in, and has Colgate-Palmolive Pakistan under its belt - and I had not. He had gotten a call for a job offer, and he hadn't even applied there! He had to decline because he's moving to Canada.
• Two hours after my friend's incident, another friend texts me asking if I got a call from Lahore. It turned out to be Islamabad actually, and it was for a Sales Executive position. The company claimed to be calling every marketing major at my institute, did I get the call? No.
• However, I had applied to Mindshare just under 12 hours ago, and got a call!

Was I psyched about it? Yes! Nonetheless, I went to my uncle's to drop off a job application at the organization he works in. Him being my uncle, showed concern and asked me many questions regarding what I wanted and how I believed my plan would work. He then went on and rationalized me going back to my institute to do my MBA because that's what the major organizations want. By the way, doing my MBA from this institute would mean a 6-month work project (internship) and then 1.5 years of coursework. He made his points. They were rational. I know it's rational. Hell, I'd avoid the worst of the recession and come out with an MBA and be sought after by the big guns! He told me not to let me emotions get the better of me.

How can I not do so?! I made very few friends at the place - two of them will not be there nor will I see them for years to come: one moving to Canada, the other being married off and moving to India. That leaves my girlfriend, she won't be there either. These were the 3 people who got me through my 4 years at this place. Oh, and the football team, but that cannot be credited to the institution as it has always been the students' initiative.

How can I go back to that rigid system? How can I go back to the ratta system? How can I go back to a schedule where in 75% of the classes I'd wonder how the professor is still teaching? The Director has promised many positive changes, how well will they be implemented? My uncle said that adhering to one's parents' desires will pay off in the long-run, and this is what my parents want - to do my MBA when such an opportunity exists. The misery though! I was glad to be done with that place! I'll admit, after attending this Leadership & Development Program (no, I do not believe in the effectiveness of these things, it was a favor!) at an aspiring business school from the same city, that I thanked God I attended my institute for reasons ranging from people to academics. By the way, all these worries can be put on hold because I missed the registration deadline for the MBA program and I gave an undertaking that I will not return for my postgraduate studies! However, in about 7 hours time I will be heading for my institute to inquire if I can still register. If I can, that just may turn my job interview into a work-project interview!

I can cry, seriously, just at the thought of returning.

Here I am, it's 2:40 am, I have a presentation on Media Planning open, so I can revise my concepts for the interview; but, I cannot get my finger to click through the slides because the fear of having to add to 5 miserable years I've spent (I dropped out of the institution because of my GPA went below the minimum requirement, and then rejoined, so a year went a waste) at this place is overwhelming!

I hate to admit, but perhaps the idea that I may not be allowed to register may also be freaking me out! It's 2:50 am, I'm sleepy, haven't read a single slide, my plans have been flipped upside down; I want to cry.

Family Planning eh? 5 kids sounds like a plan!

Pakistan has a population of over 160 million people. 60-70% of the population reside in the rural areas - I give a range because of the pace of rural-urban migration. I can't speak for the rest of the major cities, but Karachi is crowded!

I will not go into statistics because I really can't be bothered to do the secondary research; but my observations worry me. There are so many children! One should visit the Sea View Beach on a Sunday; don’t make a stop if you’re uncomfortable, but just observe the traffic while you make your journey to and fro – notice the motorbikes carrying a wife and her 3-4 tiny kids? Notice the Suzuki pick-up trucks/vans filled with a few adults and loads of children? I remember going for a run in a park – a small park, in D.H.A, on a late Sunday evening once. Entrance costs Rs.5. I was stretching my muscles near the entrance and in comes a bearded, 40+, man in the traditional shalwar kameez and a topi on his head; and, following him in must have been a good dozen children! The security guard just kept on counting and losing count in a cyclical manner! Parked outside was the Suzuki pick-up! From the general look of the family one can deduce that it belongs to the middle-to-lower class. Yes, I can be wrong; but to what extent? Does a slightly inaccurate judgment change the possible hardships that earning man may face; which eventually would affect the future of the children as well?

How many child beggars have we seen at traffic signals? Ever notice the number of children at kacchi abadis? A friend of mine lived in a decent residential area, but wherever there were pieces of empty land (I’m not even talking about plot-size, just any piece of empty land) there were tents. These tents are home to the under-privileged; and, these under-privileged folk have so many children! The amount of little naked toddlers I would see on the road when approaching my friend’s house was astonishing! To add to the astonishment would be the the tense drive of 50 metres because I'd be constantly worried about running a kid over! They’re still there by the way, the past tense being used because my friend’s gone back to Saudi. All day long these children are just lying around in, and playing with, filth, literally. They do not live in anything close to sanitary conditions; and, I would not be surprised if they end up as beggars as well. I am no health expert, but, surely the families living in that area must be under some sort of threat from the unhygienic conditions? How many child beggars, have touched your arm or grabbed your arm when begging? Ever contemplated the possibility of catching something when that happens? Okay I’m beginning to drift!

I believe that advertising of contraception needs to be targeted to the middle-to-lower class. It needs to target those living in the rural areas, those who migrate to the urban areas – a case in point being my driver! I think he has 6 kids. He’s not exactly earning much, his wife’s a domestic servant; and they send their children to school. Our live-in maid’s immediate family is pretty big too – they’ve gone back to their village because her dad can’t run his thela anymore and her brother’s useless; yet he has 3 children of his own and he is my age! My mom’s given loans to both my driver and the maid several times and I can’t help but think that our case is not the only one in the country. According to Orient McCann Erickson's Blue Book 2007-08, just over 34 million people in the rural areas have access to television - a figure higher than the number of people who have access to television in the urban areas (approx. 28 million); and, out of the latter, there must many who are rural-urban migrants. This makes a strong case to target these people. However, I cannot divide the segments that need to be targeted just by their income level alone.

Once again I can only refer to Karachi for the following point. The generalizations in Karachi are done according to area of residence. We tend to look at people and make comments like “you know, typical Gulshan look – shiny clothes, lots of make up”, or “defence ka burger”. Unfortunately, I have to resort to this, but I believe certain behaviors, looks, mentality, are correctly attached to certain areas of the city. That is a whole different argument; my point is that these associations need to be capitalized on to target the people who live in a culture where the schools do not provide adequate sex education, in a culture where every family has many children, in a culture where the quality of education is easily compromised because of the lack of financial resources due to the size of the family. Alas, this has not been done recently.

A social marketing company by the name of Greenstar came out with a TVC for its product Touch condoms – quite a name I must say. Anyways, the TVC can be viewed below:

The song, I must admit, does grow on you; and the female model is attractive. That’s about the only positives I can draw out of it. I don’t think the first clip saying “the following song is brought to you by…” actually played on television; hence, one has no idea what the ad is about till the very end! The voice for that line is a piss off! It has such a blehh feel to it – “a product of Greenstaahh”. Secondly, the ad is clearly targeted at the upper-class and especially the youth. I believe that this segment is a niche in itself, a niche which can afford to go those schools that profess sex education a bit better, schools that have relatively more liberal cultures, schools whose students watch Western TV shows and are influenced by them in some way or the other. This niche must be 5-7% of the population at most. Touch condoms are meant to be a premium brand according to the Greenstar website; fair enough, but is it premium enough to be competing with Durex or other international brands which are more likely to be consumed by the target market? I think not. Actually I’d have an answer to this if I went to a store and ask the prices of the different brands of condom. Nonetheless, this has been Greenstar’s first major mistake in marketing contraceptives - never mind the the fact that the ad is no good, I cannot imagine the money spent on producing the ad, and then the amount spent on airing it because it was aired a lot!

Below are TVCs from a decade ago I guess – I honestly do not know how old they are but from the quality of film I think it is safe to conclude that the TVCs must be at least 10-15 years old.

Nova Ad

The TVC I like best out of these is for Multi-load. Why? Firstly because of the look for the married couple; I cannot elaborate on that further – but they seem a type that many people could relate to! Secondly, it’s a very simple ad with a simple and informative message. The ad for Nova (if you clicked on the hyperlink) almost hits the spot with the slice-of-life plus humor approach and I think it has got the look of the characters right; however, the use of a song is a little too much for me personally but it works with people here, and there isn’t any information about the product – or is there? My Urdu is weak! The third TVC is just plain cheesy.

A month and a half ago IBA held AdFest 2009. Shazia, Umaima, and I decided to enter the competition. Shazia suggested we do an ad for Greenstar. This is what we came up with (subtitles are used just in case the audio is not clear enough, and we are not professional filmmakers so production value is nothing extraordinary – we simply tried to get a message across):

The judges consisted of top management folk from JWT, Lowe, and Synergy. One of the judges felt that we could have done anything with our topic considering there were not any restrictions – true, we could easily have used a humorous approach that many western condom advertisements do; however, sex is a taboo subject in this country and not exactly joked about between the sexes, especially in the segment I feel needs to be targeted. Nonetheless, we were runners-up!

The next set of advertisements is public service messages run in India:

I think we all agree that it is brilliantly done! The ads targeted all walks of life in a very simple and enjoyable manner. I actually remember watching a string of these advertisements in a cinema in Lucknow back in the winter of 2006 before the movie (Dhoom 2) was played. A very smart move considering people of all professions and income levels go to the cinema in that country – cinema refers to the old-style cinemas which have a balcony section and what not.

What Indians do best is using slice-of-life appeals:





Okay I’m tired now; I hope I’ve made my points clearly. Oh yeah, the other thing that protection helps prevent are STDs. Don’t know my stats on how many people have HIV or AIDS in this country but it’s definitely another aspect that can be used in advertisements.

Another thought: I’m sure Greenstar have done some great fieldwork or BTL activities to promote family planning, I just wonder how they communicate with those in the rural areas – and by communicate I mean the dialogues; I can’t even begin to imagine how I would discuss sex or using condoms in a serious manner with my driver; never mind that, I don’t know how I would bring it up! Moreover, an argument for having many children, especially in the rural areas, is that they can help out on the land – how do we convince them to forgo that option? I’d try to come up with an answer for this but my mind is drained at the moment!

So, any one in Pakistan promoting family planning or contraception, please get your TVCs right and exploit the radio as well - I do not have the statistics for radio listenership on me right now, actually I can't be bothered to go to my room and get the notebook out and find the statistics, but it is definitely a medium that is worth exploiting; and by exploiting I do not mean taking the audio of the TVC and playing it on radio like most companies do! Ok I'm done now.

Actually I'm re-reading and I feel I have missed stuff out, and that the whole thing is a little haphazard, oh well!

"Bada-beep Bada-bop Bada-boop"

I've just graduated from university, I'm unemployed (not that I'm doing too much about that at the moment), and after the longest time I've finally got time to have time for myself, to find out who I really am, to discover myself...pfffft what bullshit! Those are the most cliched lines; the path to self-discovery and what not. Anyways, this is not about any of that crap that people come up with. I've got plenty of time to finally sit down and just watch movies...and wrestling classics. Sticking to the former; there are many films which I have not seen over the years; and I was in the mood for some comedy.

I was trying to recall comedy films which had been successful in the last 10-15 years and I remembered I always wanted to watch Analyze This. Before I knew it back then, part two called Analyze That came out as well! So I decided to watch both of them - and regret I did not!

Analyze This is about an Italian mafia-man Paul Vidi (Robert Di Nero), who starts suffering from anxiety and decides to see a shrink - Dr.Sobel (Billy Crystal). The story revolves around Sobel trying to improve Vidi as a human being; plus, in the background runs the story of Vidi dealing with the problem that caused the anxiety - all the major families on the verge of war or screwing him over. The following make this movie pure entertainment:

• The characters - Paul Vidi is hilarious as this kingpin with issues which he continues to deny for the longest time, the other members of his gang and of the other families are funny as well. Credit must be given to Dr.Sobel's character as well; he shows that he's just as human as well as being a doctor. This clip is from one of the early scenes of the movie:

• Comic portrayal of the mafia - if well-executed, this is always entertaining. What makes this different is how a kingpin is trying to improve himself via this shrink and the difficulties faced; here's a scene from the movie, in which Vidi makes a call to "threaten" his nemesis Primo, to exemplify:

• The dialogues! Whether the sarcasm used by both Vidi and Sobel at each other, or the lines which just made everything so comical! I'm not good at writing reviews so here's another clip to show what I mean:

I hope this is enough for you to be tempted watch the movie if you haven't already seen it! Yeah I couldn't write a movie review to save my life so this is all I could offer!

Good Ad Bad Ad - Omoré Ice Cream

A few months ago Omoré ice cream was launched by Engro Foods; and, as per their apparent strategy they've launched it in Punjab first - which is a sound strategy as the region has a certain fondness for food.

I am not aware of the nature of the launch events that took place or the BTL activities that have taken place in that region. However, the TVCs caught my eye, as it did everyone elses.

Personally, I was disappointed by the ad. First thing that caught my attention was the pronounciation and spelling mismatch: Omoré should be pronounced "O-more-ray", because of the accent on the "e", as opposed to "O-more" as sung in the ad. The spelling is definitely deliberate - perhaps to give it a touch of sophistication. Nonetheless, if Knorr can be pronounced "Ka-norr" (and don't tell me that the pronounciation has been changed for the Pakistani market because that is how they would say it initially so in order to avoid confusion blah blah blah) then we can let this one go!

Secondly, the jingle is sort of catchy but it has nothing to do with ice cream! That you only figure out after listening to it over and over again and concentrating on the fast-paced ad. Otherwise, you just remember words such as "aasman sky" and "pigeon kabootar"; but then again, the name Omoré is not forgotten.

Thirdly, it was brought to my attention that the ad is a copy of an old coca-cola ad. I was shocked when I checked the coke ad out! Even some of the lyrics were ripped off (refer to something about "chanda taaray")!








On the whole, the TVC was disappointing because the creative brief given to agencies was good, and the agency responsible for Omoré is an MNC so a higher standard is expected - creativity, originality etc. However, despite all the flaws, the product seems to be doing well and the advertising has been well received. Why?

The target market are not marketing majors! For us, copying an ad was like sin! The following comments were made when the ad came out and we discussed it amongst ourselves (fellow students and marketing majors):

"I cannot believe they got the account and look at the ad!"
"They ripped it off the coke ad! What losers!"

The non-marketing majors said stuff like:

"I like the ad, the song is catchy"
"I thought the ad was good"
"Omoré waalon ko dekhein, kya ad chalaya hai! Log mein ek pyaas paida kardi hai!" - this was an employee of a supermarket. He mentioned the anticipation factor in reference to the burst advertising strategy the Engro Foods had employed for the product.

A friend of mine, another marketing major and a former intern at an ad agency (hence the high emotions), said this when a junior said she liked the ad:

"What is wrong with you?! It is a copy of the coke ad! Plus it sucks!"

Then I realized, it does not matter! Did the ad grab attention? Yes! Was the jingle pleasant to the ear? To the target market, yes! How many Bollywood songs have we seen that have been a rip-off of English or Pakistani songs going on to be huge hits despite the knowledge that they are rip-offs? At the end of the day, people over here do not care! The majority of viewers, and I mean MAJORITY, do not watch an ad and think "is the message clear? is it a copy? creative? original?" - it either appeals to them or it doesn't. In this case, it has appealed! Deal with it!

I brought this up primarily because my friends and I had downplayed the brand's advertising; and, tried convincing others of the sin committed! Secondly, I've found very little on the brand on the internet except for another piece written on http://www.zaheerspeaks.com/2009/04/17/engro-goes-ice-creamy-omore-introduced/

The author also mentions the fact that the ad is copied. However, reading the comments posted in reply to that post, the ice cream seems to be doing well and people have taken to the ad. The author mentions the change in approach by Engro Foods by not using any celebrities for the brand - well that's because celebrities should not be used in advertising when a brand is launched; it works against the credibility of the brand because people then believe that a celebrity is being used to sell the product rather than the product using its qualities to sell itself.

I have not had a chance to taste the product(s) yet; apparently it's very milky - a trait that I believe the TVC should have highlighted because Walls is now known for not using milk in their ice cream; sorry, I meant frozen desserts.

I hope the next set of TVCs are more original and creative - it's ice cream, that gives you a lot of room to play with!

My Football Journey - Part 1: The School Days

Back in 1997 I had started Year 8/Grade 7 in Dhahran British Grammar School - I hated football before then! Why did I start playing that year? Simple - the majority of the cricket playing Pakistanis had left school and I was left with nothing to do at break times/recess! I had no choice but to join all the English kids playing football!

I knew some of the basics because of our Physical Education classes. We played in this big shaded concrete area made up of basketball courts. There were these 5-a-side goals that were about waist-high but very wide! No offsides, so I used to join a team, stand in front of the opposing goal, wait for someone to cross it so I could just tap the ball in! I pulled some goals off; but, mostly I never received the ball because the players didn't trust my ability enough - I can't blame them either! From there I tried goalkeeping since it did not require dribbling or much passing; although, at the same time I would try to improve my skills playing one-on-one with a couple of friends who were better than me.

During '98-'99 I changed school just for that one year and I dramatically improved that year. I really have no idea how. It may've been more playing, joining the after school football club, perhaps even playing FIFA! All I know is, when I returned to my old school for my IGCSEs, my friends and P.E. teacher were surprised! I didn't make it to the school team that travelled to Riyadh for the Intra-Kingdom Football Tournament that year though I was considered.

I was an individual sort of player - really did not realize the value of passing and possession, thought I had great skill and flair and took pride in going past as many players possible! However, this was always done on a 5-a-side or similar level. Nonetheless, I remained this sort of player for another year as I was selected for next year's ('00-'01) tournament.

I remember the neat dark blue Umbro kits we had, and the sand/gravel pitches we played the 8-a-side tournament on. I think we played 5 matches in that tournament - 2 group stage, the QF, the SF, and 3rd/4th place.

Our first match was versus the British Internationl School of Al-Khobar - the school I had spent a year at. We were the stronger team but found ourselves 1-0 down. I showed some flash on the wing but didn't contribute to any goal. At half-time one or two players were arguing with the coach and I remember Mr.Swords just backed off and said "Fine, do what you want to do" and his non-chalance is what drove us to win the match 2-1. I honestly do not remember how it happened but it did. Our second match was versus Yanbu International School or Yanbu Academy - they were from Yanbu! We won that 5 or 6 nil. I set up the opening goal by going past a defender down his right hand side by rolling my foot over the ball and then cutting it back across the goal for my striker to finish it. I also tried a solo effort in that match - started from just outside my own box, took the ball past two players, passed the ball to a player standing just over the halfway line for a one-two (that took another player out of the equation), ran between two others before 3 or 4 players homed in on me in the box and took the ball. Oh well!

The QF was versus Rahima Academy. They had a bad reputation coming into the match because of the fights they started in every match they played - and the consequential red cards they received. We won this match 1-0 thanks to the brilliance of a Vincent Freeman. The SF was versus Jeddah Continental and they were a lot better than us, I think we lost 2-0. We played the hosts in the 3rd/4th place playoff and we lost that 2-1 I think. I scored the lone goal for our school - a corner was not dealt with and I was waiting on the far side, the ball sat up nicely as I volleyed it into the top of the far corner - got knee-ed where it matters during the celebrations!

The following year I moved to Dhahran High School. First year I tried out for Varsity Soccer and made it to the team. We had a coach, can't remember his name, didn't really do much coaching! I played as a left-back for the team back then. I was not in the starting eleven. I don't remember much from the Intra-Kingdom Tournament that year apart from the fact that the Cup was fought out between us, the hosts - Riyadh American School, and Rahima Academy. We lost in the final to Riyadh. I somehow got awarded the Rookie of the Year at school.

My last year in high school saw an English coach come in - Mr. Lewars. He had played semi-professional foobtall in England and I have learnt a lot from him. It was from him I realized the importance of passing, positioning, support, possession, and the one line he always said "if you don't concede, you don't lose". I continued as a left-back and did well in the training sessions. Plus, the coach arranged a friendly with the youth team of a Saudi club - Al-Nahda I think it was. We drew that game 1-1. I would like to say I somehow had a hand in the goal! I picked the ball up before the halfway line, cut inside to maraud through the middle of the pitch without any successful challenge, approached the opposing area, spread the ball wide to the right for our winger to hit his cross in that was defended successfuly but conceded a corner. Our goal resulted from the corner.

The school took two teams to Riyadh for the Intra-Kingdom Tournament that year and due to some delays of confirmation on my part I was placed on the 'B' team; and, I was played as a Central Midfielder because of my passing and distribution abilities - something I did not know I possessed and a position I had never played in!

We lost our first game to Jeddah Continental 7-1! It was 6-0 at halftime! I believe it was the fact that we had just gotten off a 4-hour bus journey and played. Moreover, I had never felt so lost on a pitch until then because of my new position. In the second game we beat Rahima Academy 3-0 I think. We then played the hosts and held them out for a long time but they scored two late goals to win. However, we played Jeddah Continental again for 3rd place. It finished 1-1 at full time, and they exerted tremendous pressure in extra-time. I had a great chance to win the game for us. I picked up a loose ball from my own half, and keeping in mind the pressure that we faced and the fact that we weren't able to put any moves together, I decided to go solo! I dodged two players as I went past the halfway line and onto the left-wing and ran it down the wing; one of their defenders ran with me and I did a little step-over during which I think I clipped him -though I had the ball - and he fell over. I cut inside to come into the box. I had a defender coming to close me down, I looked across - no one there to cross to - so I shot with my right but it went right to the keeper at the near post. I looked a little behind me and it turned out I had players to cross to! We lost the match 2-1.

The same year (2003), we went to Dubai for a regional school tournament. Teams from Saudi Arabia, Dubai, Sharjah, Jordan, and Cyprus participated in this tournament. It was a completely different level! This time I played for the 'A' team but not a starter. We lost our opener to the Jordanian school, lost to Riyadh - a match I came late for because I missed the team bus and the taxi didn't know where to go! We beat the Sharjah school, and lost to the hosts and defending champions - Dubai College. It was a standard of football I had not played against. The teams were organized in their formation, their passing, possession, and their movement. I only played well versus the Sharjah school before being taken off because of cramps.

Yes, I never won anything at school level - but being able to make into the school teams; especially during high school, boosted my confidence because I felt I had achieved something considering how I started playing and - this may seem stupid - my nationality! I was meant to play cricket; which I did just as much, but I was the only Pakistani to make it to the team - the rest were Arabs, a couple of South Africans, and some Armenians. It's a stupid thing to feel proud of, but I went to a school where racist attitudes existed - never blatantly expressed, nor any harm intended for any other race; but certain people felt more superior than other people either consciously and unconsciously. Perhaps it's just me who felt vibes of discrimination when it came to certain matters; or maybe it was just the cultural differenes - whatever it was, being the only Pakistani on the team made me feel good back then. I thought I was kick ass! Thought if I'd ever go back to my home country I'd make a difference - a bit like how, recently, David Beckham thought he'd revolutionize soccer in the U.S.A!

Little did I know...